Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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