i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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