She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
