Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
