six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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