It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
