Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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