sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
