If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
