Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
