Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
