even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
