it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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