so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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