yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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