I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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