what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
