P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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