Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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