i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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