I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
