there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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