we have pet lesbian snakes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
