My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
