I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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