Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
