OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
