dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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