i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
