i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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