dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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