I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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