I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All the doctor said was why
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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