I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
