Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
