There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
