I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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