we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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