i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Still dying that you shit outside
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
