He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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