so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize