she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
