Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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