Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
