Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
lets start a swedish sibling band together
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
