I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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