turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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