I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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