i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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