Betty ford says i'm here all night
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
